Mentality

I have been struggling over the past few days mentally with the changes that my body is going through. It is never easy to lose weight especially when you get to a point that you have not been at for over a decade. I know that change is never easy for body and mind. The struggles for me have been mostly mentally. 

Five years ago when I dropped the weight that I had, I got to a point where I was comfortable with my weight and stopped trying to lose weight altogether. Then I gained the weight back. The past few days I have struggled with that mentality that I am at a comfortable weight and I do not want to lose any more. Yet there is this nagging feeling in the back of my mind telling me that I would be taking the easy way out if I chose to stop and attempt to maintain. I read all of these signs on tumblr about how seeing the results you want is never easy and you need to be uncomfortable to achieve anything.

I am actively letting that nagging feeling grow and come to fruition. I need to step away from the mentality that I am okay and be comfortable with being uncomfortable. I do not want to be scared because of the unknowns in the road that lies ahead of me. At the same time I refuse to regret not trying to see who I blossom into physically but also mentally.

I guess that is what my point of this post is. We as losers focus on our weight loss and then when our brain has a second to catch up with the changes it says "What the hell are you doing? Stop doing that!" Yet, it is important to help our brains wrap around the fact that we are changing for the better, because we need to do so for any number of reasons. So many people lose the weight and then gain it back because their mind convinces them that it is okay to cheat once in a while. Then it occurs more and more until before you know it, an additional 20 lbs is added onto the scale. It is crucial that we continue to be aware of what our minds tells us is acceptable and realizing the reality of what we need to do and be aware of our choices.

Another thing I am struggling with is phantom fat. That underlying thought that you have not lost the weight and when you look in the mirror, you fail to see what you look like but instead what you once were. Those feelings that I still look as big as I once did occur often but I have hope that they will go away because every once in a while I catch a glimpse in the mirror of how awesome I look. It helps to take pictures along the journey to see the changes and know that I look fabulous.

I just have to be patient with two things to catch up with my weight loss: my mind and skin. 

☺Ashley☺