August Goals

So here it is, the beginning of a new month already. It seems like time flies by so quickly and there is always a new and exciting adventure waiting right around the corner. Every time I cross another goal off my list for the previous month, I begin to think about what new goals can I set for myself? What new heights can I take my personal growth both physically and mentally? Is there something I told myself I could never be able to do because of restrictions from my physical self? These questions are constantly churning in my brain. How can I do better, be better than the person I was the day before. There is a careful balance that I need to make sure I have between my accomplishments and new goals.

I believe it is important to savor the feeling of "I just proved I can do this" and taking a moment to take in the moment and realize all the work you, yourself put into it and the effort it took. On any weight loss journey, it can be difficult to set goals and believe so much in yourself that you can actually achieve them. Yet, when one does it is almost like it was magical, you are overwhelmed with the feeling of personal satisfaction you receive. 

My feeling is that once those feelings have begun to dissipate it is time to look on to the future and set harder and higher goals for yourself. What goals can you set that give you the similar satisfaction as accomplishing your past goal? This is why I am really embracing the goals I set out on my blog. It is a chance for me to put out some goals to work towards within the month and it holds me accountable since anyone can see my list. I have also found it is helpful in seeing what things I am still lacking on and need improvement. Then there are other goals like my trying new foods, that never ceases to astonish me. By the middle of the month I had already tried 7 new foods. That is mind blowing! A year ago, that would not have even been thought of yet here I am doing it.

Recap of July goals

1. Come up with two non scale victories. 1. Ran 1 mile in 12:14 minutes
2. Incorporate more spinning classes. Did not happen. I got wrapped up in my walking challenge
3. Go swimming at least once during the month. Done multiple times at a friends pool.
4. Stick to my food menu while in Cape May. With all the craziness of the week, I accomplished it!
5. Continue my soda challenge/Work on my 60 miles in 60 days challenge. Keep the Hershey's Kisses coming!!/ 72.41 miles completed
6. xercise at least 4 days a week. Done pretty well
7. Try 2 new foods throughout the month. Sauerkraut, jicama, fresh basil, sweet relish, beets, crab salad (EWW), salmon cakes, Wasabi Peas (EWW)
8. Lose 10 pounds in 2 months. I am already down 5 lbs in a month. So looks like I will be on track.

August Goals

1. Continue my running/walking
2. Eat more fruits/vegetables
3. New recipe each week
4. Find healthier alternatives for lunches
5. Create more "me" time
6. Pit buddy 
7. Posting on Loseit forum
8. No eating after 8pm

Here I go, hitting the ground running! What are your goals for August?

☺Ashley☺

The Dreaded Scale

I am so annoyed at this moment in time. This month has been a great month with getting additional exercise in and eating better than I have over the past few months. I have been feeling over the moon with the way things have been progressing and so I expected to see it on the scales.

Here is my problem. On Mondays I have been weighing in at my house like I have been doing over the past year. My weight has stayed the same every time I jump on the scale. Fast forward to Thursdays and I decided to weigh in at my friends house. Her scale says that I am lighter than my scale says. So, I have been using her scale since it shows my weight is continuing to drop.

I realize I should take the number at face value since I feel amazing and that is what it is all about. However, I just get frustrated with the fact that the scale does not show how amazing I feel. Plus, the scale at my friends house is getting me closer to a marker that I have been looking forward to. Being in the overweight category of the BMI scale! That is such a huge accomplishment and I want to get there so badly and soon. I have decided to really examine my eating style and try to clamp it so the scale at my house continues to move down like my friends.

I am feeling excited that weigh ins for August are on Thursdays this month. The scale seems to be very nice on those days. 

☺Ashley☺

On the Way to Cape May

There is something about me and Cape May, NJ. I do not know what it is but when I go to the Marianist Retreat Center, there is just something special about the place and being there. It is like the rest of the world does not exist, my worries are pushed a side and I can focus on the people I am surrounded with and my own faith journey. At any given time I am there, I can meet at least 10 new people and share my life with them and visa versa. There are so many different walks of life that pass through the doors, which makes this place unique in my opinion. 

A little history on how I got involved with the Retreat Center. Not many people know but I was not raised Catholic. My immediate family is Protestant but no longer attends church. There is the usual dinner grace but that is about the amount of faith that circulates. The only reason they go to church is for weddings or funerals. It is the way they choose to live out their faith and that is fine for them, but not for me. 

Rollie, Me, Brother Tom, Toni, David

Leaving the long story for a different post, short story is I became a Catholic at the Easter Vigil in 2010. When I went to college at Rider University, I met a friend named Rollie. Right before winter break of 2011-2012, he invited the organization to attend this College Aged Retreat at Cape May. Four of us including Rollie headed down there. When I first walked in, I noticed that everyone was hugging each other as if they knew each other. It was a bit intimidating at first but within the first hour, I felt as if I was home with people that I had known for years. During the weekend, we talked, laughed, and cried. There was a bond, a connection that was different than any other I had been involved with. At one point during the weekend, I was asked to tell my story, and so I told it in front of the 40 ish college age students that were there. It was a great experience, and I felt comfortable being up in front sharing my story, it inspired people and I was even given great feed back.

By the end of that retreat, I had told the Program Director, Jessica that I would love to volunteer any time they needed help. This conversation occurred in January of 2012. By the end of this summer, I will have volunteered with 14 retreats.  If nothing else tells you how special I think the retreat house is, hopefully the number of times I have been there speaks volumes. Most of those retreats are also week long. Another special thing about the Retreat Center is that even though it is a predominately Catholic organization, it is open to all walks of faith. We have opened the doors to those who are Christian but not Catholic, I have even been on retreat with a Jehovah's Witness. Everyone is welcome to come no matter their faith, no matter where they live.

That is another thing that I enjoy. People come from all over to attend the retreats. We have regulars that come from the tri-state area but also there are those from Ohio, Virginia, Maryland, Delaware, Connecticut, Rhode Island, England, even Switzerland. There are those who have moved away but continue to make the trek to the retreat house for that special quality it has. 

The last feature that I enjoy is that the Retreat House is located 1 block from the beach. The ocean is literally a stone's throw away. What more could you want, to be able to go on retreat and get the beautiful views from the ocean and swim while there.

So that is my plug for the retreat house, but I also wanted to share that since I will be going to Cape May, one thing I have to deal with is meal planning. The Retreat Center provides all the meals for the days but for my own personal lifestyle, while everything they make is amazing, calorie wise I cannot take a chance. So, I have to spend time coming up with a menu for the week that is similar to what they are eating but on a healthier scale (that I can count for LoseIt!). For the last two weeks I have been creating my menu and after having some monkey wrenches thrown into my week at the Cape, I finally have my menu printed and finalized. Now it is a matter of either cooking the food or getting the dry food together. That is what I will be doing the rest of the night, and that is fine. Thanks to the cook, Andrea who gives me the list of meals ahead of time, I will be prepared to dine with everyone else and not be obsessing about not knowing calories or feeling singled out.

☺Ashley☺

Sights I See

It is already the middle of the month and the 60 in Sixty challenge (really my 120 in Sixty) has been going on for 11 days. This has to be one of my favorite challenges thus far because I am really encouraged to get out there and walk; no matter the temperature outside, rain or shine. My favorite part thus far about my excursions is that I always find something new and interesting to take pictures of while being out. I am really beginning to embrace Instagram and taking advantage of posting pictures that I can edit and share with others.

It brings back memories of when I initially began losing weight at the age of 17. Walking was a part of my normal routine and I would walk my neighborhood between 2 and 3 times a day. People would stop me and say that they saw me out walking and were amazed at my transformation. It was the only form of exercise I was getting at the time but it worked and I dropped 50 lbs within the year. (Only to gain it back during college)

July 5th- 6.02 miles

July 8th- 6.11 miles

July 9th- 6.20 miles

July 11th- 5.15 miles

July 12th- 5.05 miles

July 13th- 7.67 miles

July 16th- 10.18 miles

Total=46.38 miles

I have to share about the water bottle. I was walking back to my house during my 7.67 mile stint on Saturday. As I was getting ready to walk into my neighborhood, a lady pulled over and motioned me over to her car. She was lost and was in need of help in order to get to a wedding at one of the local Catholic churches. So I explained it in terms of how many lights she needed to go past. Any one who knows me, knows that I tend to use my hands a lot with explaining and she saw my water bottle was empty. After I explained the directions to her, she gave me her cold water bottle. It was totally unexpected and really nice of her. There are good people out there.

Being Adventerous

Growing up as a kid I do not remember ever going out of the lines of my comfort foods. Trying new foods was not something I enjoyed and it was rather painful to attempt anything that looked different than what I was used to eating. Foods that I had eaten early in my childhood were tastes that I lost or did not remember as I become a pre-teen such as fish.

New food scared me because I had occasions where I tried new food and ended up with a stomach ache and one time I ended up going to an emergency clinic because of some type of stew my mother made.

That is the type of incident that has scarred me for life in addition to the comments of "Are you feeling alright? Let me take your temperature." or "What is wrong with you, trying something new?" While they may seem like minor comments, they are ones that I carry with me to this day  and made me uncomfortable with trying new things. It was easier for me to say I did not like the food than explain that I had never tried it before. 

Over the past few years I have found that the biggest factor for me in trying new foods is the company that I am surrounded by. If it is someone who will not make the snide comments, then I am more comfortable and apt to try something new. I even have two close friends who I spend a majority of my time with and they know if, when they ask me if I ever tried <insert food> and I give a long hesitant pause, it means I have not. There is no getting away with lying and say I tried it and do not like it. 

It has taken me a short time to realize that I need to branch out and start eating foods that I never thought would be healthy or satisfying to me in my diet. Going beyond my horizons and incorporating foods that are tasty. I am realizing that while I will not like every new food that crosses my path, I need to try them for the experience. 

Some of the foods I have tried are... Jicama, salmon, tilapia, asparagus, sauerkraut, kieshka, bobka, matzoh, pomegranate, basil, barbecue sauce, all different types of beans, root vegetables.. ect. The list is really endless and my mind is always blown.

While in my list there are a few things that I do not like, there are certain things that I am in love with, like beans. There is an endless amount of recipes that you can use with beans and I enjoy trying these recipes to see what kinds of flavor and tastes I get from them.

I used to associate trying new things as being a negative. Yet, over the past few months and with the help of some non-judgmental friends, I have begun to embrace adding new things to my food palette. Every time I am with them, there is always a new adventure in foods just waiting around the corner and I look forward to it each and every time.

What is something new that you have tried that you may never have heard about or thought you would like? Do you have people who give you similar snide comments that stops you from trying new foods? Are you scared of trying new foods?

☺Ashley☺ 

Beauty

When you have been overweight for most of your childhood into adult life, it is easy to have a negative self image as well as self esteem. The bullying from others and insecurities from within you manifest over the years and eventually build until you decide to either A. be depressed the rest of your life or B. get healthier and change your life.

It took me a number of my teenage years to realize that being depressed was not the set of glasses I wanted to view the world through. I began to realize that there is so much more to life than when I was depressed.

Over the past year I have struggled more so than I had anticipated with my body image and self esteem. Compliments from other people have been a hard thing to swallow for me. My natural reaction is to shoot them back at the person in a condescending way because that is the easiest way for me to deal with my insecurities of being praised for something that I may not necessarily feel I deserve. 

I look at myself and notice the imperfections of my body; the stretch marks and spider veins that I had not known were there until I lost the 65 lbs. This is turn made me shudder to put on a bathing suit or to go out wearing shorts in public because of the self conscious feelings that go through my head while I am out. Looking in the mirror, I do not see me as I am today. I see the person I was a year ago before I started my journey. It is tough to look and think you have not made any progress but that is when I take a step back and tell myself that the numbers do not lie, both on the scale and my own clothing size.

This is not the mindset or direction I want to take with my life though. I want to be able to accept compliments for people with acknowledgement that they are being sincere. I need to be able to see myself for who I am today, not who I was yesterday. I cannot change the past, only the future and my attitudes towards it. I need to go out in the world with my head held high knowing I am beautiful, no matter what anyone's opinion of me is. 

I have decided that I am worth it to work hard on my confidence and self esteem. I allowed the media and those I interact with to do a number on both of those things. It is time that I believe in the fact that I am not perfect but that I am beautiful. To accept the compliments from those around me who are being genuinely sincere. This is going to be an on going process which will take time but I know that in the end it will help lift my self esteem and I am certainly worth the effort and hard work. I am ready to put the boots on and get to work. 

After all....... I am beautiful. 

☺Ashley☺ 

60 in Sixty

Over the past year that I have worked on losing weight, I have found a competitive side of me that loves a challenge. I created my own personal challenge a few weeks ago by eating a Hershey's kiss to replace the soda that I was drinking. On the LoseIt! website, I created two challenges; the first was to lose 45 lbs along with a few other members. The second is to lose 15 lbs by September 23rd.

I just joined another one, thanks to a blogger I follow. It is called 60 in Sixty. The object of this challenge is that you have 60 days to complete 60 miles. The rules are that this must be completed either by running or walking, ellipticals and stationary bikes are NOT going to be accepted. A pretty cool challenge by far and it started today but it is never too late to jump in and join in the fun! Here is the letter I received.

I plan to double it which means I will be running/walking 120 miles throughout the next two months. From the looks of this past week, I will most likely be walking a majority of it, but I have learned that exercise which is relatively low impact but gives resistance, helps a person burn more calories of fat than if they were running. That is another whole blog post for a later time though.

Here is more about the challenge if you feel like a good challenge for the duration of the summer.

This was my walk this morning. I got it in early before the heat because I would not have made it that long with the heat. Feeling really good since I think I started off on the right foot.

If you are feeling it, join the challenge! You have nothing to lose except some time but will gain so much more from it all.

☺Ashley☺

July Goals

I made a comment yesterday to my friend at how amazing time has flown by and that it is already July. It seems like just yesterday that it was the middle of February. This past month has been wonderful because I have really been enjoying the weather. It has been so long since I can remember not being cold and June's weather has been so nice to me.

Here is a recap of June's goals:

1. Come up with at least 3 Non Scale Victories for the month. Bra size is smaller, underwear size is smaller, complemented on my weight loss by others, tried 2 new foods: jicama and fresh basil
2. Try 1 new exercise class. Spinning and body combat
3. Enjoy my vacation in Cape May and bike ride while down there. Done with walks
4. Make 3 new dinner recipes and at least 1 new desert/candy recipe. Not even touched
5. Exercise at least 4 days a week. Did it! 
6. Track daily and stay under budget except on weigh in days (Saturdays) Did except June 30th

Basically, it was an overall good month and completed 5/6 of my goals. I can totally appreciate those goals. The interesting thing was also that I modified some of my goals but completed them in the same. Cooking was not on my list of top priorities or trying anything new but that is okay, next month I will try and see if I can do it.

Speaking of next month.. Here are July's goals:

1. Come up with two non scale victories.
2. Incorporate more spinning classes.
3. Go swimming at least once during the month.
4. Stick to my food menu while in Cape May.
5. Continue my soda challenge/Work on my 60 miles in 60 days challenge
6. Exercise at least 4 days a week.
7. Try 2 new foods throughout the month.
8. Lose 10 pounds in 2 months.

How did you do last month? What goals are you setting for yourself for the upcoming month?

☺Ashley☺