Weather Struggles

Colder weather has always been something that I have enjoyed. As a young child, I enjoyed going out and making snowmen and hanging out in the snow. I was warm and looked like a little Eskimo. 

We would sled down the driveway or the dirt bike trail behind our house. I did not mind going out and shoving the driveway with all the annoying blue stone since our driveway was not paved. 

Things started to change for me last year though. Since starting to lose weight, I never seem to get warm even in the hottest days of the summer. It is only mid November and the cold has hit me hard. 

1. I have not exercised since the end of October. Why? Because it is too cold in my house and I rather sit under blankets than actually move around even though I will get warm. 
2. Eating is sporadic. Unless it is warm, I do not like eating it. Nope, no ice cream, not into yogurt. Milk? Forget about it. 

What does the winter mean to me? Well, I need to get my butt moving, whether I want to or not. I have to get in the mindset that I will not be this cold next year. I need to get to goal weight so that I can be firm with my clothing outfit purchases and not worry about dropping sizes from one year to the next. I am only 33 lbs from goal weight, so close and yet it feels so far. I need to kick this cold weather's butt so that I can prove to myself that I am totally worth it.

Cheers to the winter, with all the lovely holidays, and cold weather. Cheers to my continued journey of looking and feeling healthier than ever.

Trip Down Picture Lane

I decided to take a walk down picture lane on my Facebook. I was scrolling through my page and all my posts about being thankful for something each day and then I saw my pictures. Something drew me to looking through them because it is rare I go back and look at old photo's especially since they are of me. 

But I found one that really caught my attention out of all of them. I am not sure exactly what it was about this picture but my mouth dropped and I had to flip through the rest of my pictures and then go back to this one. I mean, I know that I was larger just two years ago but I guess it never hit me HOW big I actually was. I have been telling myself that I was not as heavy as I really look in the pictures and that I really hold my weight well. I was not svelte by any means or a "normal" stature but I never thought to call myself obese let along morbidly obese. I mean take a long hard look at this picture. My rear end is out of the picture because my rear was too wide. My stomach, well I am sure I could not even see my feet if I looked straight down. 

I wonder what I thought pre-weight loss. How I viewed life as far as what I looked like in reality and how damaging it was for myself. I think it is one of those memories that I have removed or one that I try not to remember about the person I once was. Yet I realize that this picture will be my reminder of my college years, one that was filled with lots of eating and stressful times but yet I was 'content'. I use that lightly because I know that the way I viewed myself was to ignore it and hope that it would go away while truthfully, I could not stand to face myself and the demons of my past.

So tonight, I decided to take a picture of myself to remind me of how far I have come. I took this picture with so many smiles because I know that I am not the same person I was as an undergraduate. What a difference two years can make! I am happier than I have ever been and it is finally starting to click in my brain that I am no longer the person that I once was; at least physically and appearance wise. I realize now that my life is a blessing and all the things I do now for myself and my body are important. I will always struggle with my addiction to food and the feelings of inadequacy. My hope is that the feeling I have tonight shines through it all. The feeling o being so beautiful and realizing that I have done something amazing with my life that not many people succeed in doing. I am no longer that young adult in the above picture. I am someone who is new, who is thin and should flaunt my beautiful body.

Thankful November

With October behind us, November is already starting on a great foot. The weather is absolutely beautiful today! It is nice and warm and there was little to no wind. I am excited for the upcoming holidays and a month of reflection of all the things I am grateful for in life.

Recap of goals from October.

1. Continue Turbo Fire throughout the month It was a struggle but I was able to stick with it
2. Run 2 5k's - Color Run 10/5 and Borough Run 10/12 I did both and placed in the Borough Run!!
3. Continue focus on ratio of fats/proteins/carbs It is a constant work in progress but I am able to see changes.
4. Plank every day and record time Fail on my part. Did not happen
5. Hit beast mode on all EOT challenges on LoseIt! Some challenges I did but not all
6. Start a squat challenge for the month Failed at this one. Did not attempt it
7. Continue preparing meals on Sundays Very easy to do and nailed it every time.
8. Dedicate a weekend to just myself, taking care of my needs. That weekend was awesome, staying in my pajamas, cleaning my room. Just what I needed to do!
9. Drop 5 lbs Lost 2 lbs this month
10. Go for a bike ride on Wednesday's My bike is collecting cob webs. I did not even try to get out.

Overall, I did pretty okay. Not so well on the challenges and I realize that is my fault. I feel like I take on too much and it causes me to get overwhelmed and I struggle to hit those goals.

I have decided that this month is going to be different. My goals for the month are actually going to be for the next two months since we are going in to the holiday season with 2 major holidays (Thanksgiving and Christmas).

I want to see myself hit the 175 lb mark on the scale come January 1st.

Goals for November and December:

1. Write EVERYTHING down I eat.
2. Absolutely no candy.
3. Get rid of more carbs.
4. Turbo Fire every day.
5. Participate in Team Relay every weekend.
6. Do not eat anything made by family (pumpkin pie cake)
7. Resist temptation and record it for later use.
8. Limit time on computer and be active
9. Continue to meal plan for the rest of the year
10. Allow cheat days on weigh in days.
11. Be thankful for something each day.
12. Vary more of my snack foods.