Willpower Say What?

What a rough weekend I had with food. Ugh, drove me absolutely nuts! I weighed in on Saturday and was upset with myself because I had gained .4 lbs. Now, that may seem minor which it really is but I took it way out of control. I beat myself up because I am working so hard to try and lose 60 lbs by December for the cruise. What did I end up doing? I gave in to the little devil in my head saying "go eat from the closet, no one will know". Yet, you know who knew? I did, and felt completely guilty after the fact because I knew what I did was wrong and I cannot take any of that back. There is no way to "throw up" the calories of what was eaten during that period. I just have to accept that I was week and tomorrow is a new day and I can start over again. That is just what I did.

I decided that in order to aid in my weight loss plan, I need to be proactive about meals throughout the week. This means planning out what I intend on eating and what kinds of exercise I need to do in order to accomplish what I need to. Yesterday, what a struggle day with my willpower but I won. How do you ask? Well, I planned to have this yummy taco pie for dinner. I went out and bought all of the ingredients needed to make it and I was so excited. After I came home, I was informed that everyone was going out to the diner. (Say what?!) Realizing that I most likely gained the .4 lbs from eating at the diner, I chose to be proactive and stay at home and eat my taco pie. (It was to die for by the way) I am not going to change my meals because of what other people do or do not want to do. It is time to take care of me, and me alone.

Fast forward to today, I planned all my meals, recorded them and was ready to carry out my day. There were no problems in the morning and afternoon and I really enjoy knowing what I am going to eat and not have to question or wonder what to do for snacks or meals. On my way home with family, someone asked to get a 20 piece McDonald's Chicken Nuggets (940 calories). We stopped and got it and once I arrived home, I had leftovers of my taco pie and some tortillas. Still delicious even though they were leftovers. I contemplated reaching over and have a chicken nugget but know that the grease and fast food is not healthy or good for my diet. So, I did not eat one and ate my dinner which was delicious! 

I guess the point of my post, is that I am realizing how much willpower I actually have. To be able to sit and eat dinner knowing I could grab a chicken nugget and devour it but instead turning away and saying no, was pretty easy. Every time I pass on eating something unhealthy, I feel even more powerful than before. I am going to be rocking the weight off with this willpower before you know it!

☼Ashley☼

Inconvenience Others

Writing this blog today, I was not sure as to what I wanted to talk/write about because there seems to be so many thoughts racing through my mind recently. I stumbled upon the video that I have below on a website that I follow religiously and after watching, things were put into some perspective for me.

So, my post today is about me being an inconvenience to others. It seems to occur more and more in my daily life that I do not fit into what other people want to do as far as going out to eat. There are people who enjoy eating out all the time and try to encourage me to be like one of those people but if I did, I could only imagine myself being 300+ lbs. That stresses me out more than anything! After eating so badly for so long, I need to get myself back in check and that is what I am doing by packing my meals and watching my food intake. This body of mine has a lot more to go through in life seeing as I am only 22 and I want to make sure my body can last through it all. That means taking care of myself and working to maintain a healthy weight and being active.

I make my meals at different times because I do not want to eat with people who are not supportive or who want to sabotage me. I refuse to cook a whole family meal because of the 'is that it?' comment. I have learned that life is not about everyone else, there needs to be time to take care of me, and if that means I count my calories, use measuring cups to measure my foods and eat at a certain time, well so what? I am comfortable with it because I am working towards a hard goal in life, being healthy.

All too often people get sidetracked and go meet up with friends and where is it? At a diner or a restaurant, where there is food and no way to track calories. Why? It is fast and easy and no one has to cook anything, you can sit and chat. What happened to dinner parties? Or inviting people over to your house and pre-making the food before guests arrive? We are so wrapped up in socializing around food that we forget there is a whole world of other things we can be doing that does not consist of us sitting on our bums, eating.

There again people stare and judge you because of your weight and because you do not care what you are putting in your mouth by going out to a restaurant. Last time I checked, skinny people go to restaurants as well, right? This world is made up of all different shapes and sizes and it is what makes us all unique. Just because a person is not doing what you want them to do, it should not be an inconvenience to you. Or at least, do not vocalize it day after day. It tends to get repetitive and annoying.

☼Ashley☼

Suddenly I See

Weight Jars

        I try to find motivational and inspiring songs that pertain to me and KT Perry's song Suddenly I See, is one that is growing on me and I am enjoying. It fits right now in this stage of the weight loss battle. Finally, I have opened my eyes to see what my weight has done to me and that I need to go about changing it once and for all. It feels like I have had blinders on for so many years and it is time to take them off and take charge of my life; who I am and who I want to be. 

        Today, I decided to weigh myself on the scale and see if I could push my luck a bit and lose some weight. Well, wouldn't you know, I lost 1.4 lbs! I am now officially down 5 lbs. This is where the picture of the Weight Jars comes in. I took a picture and posted it above. One jar represents the weight that I need to lose and say good-bye to. The other jar represents the weight that is gone and that I never want to see come back. It was a lot of fun making these jars and I am excited to see the progress that I make within the jars and changing over the stones once a week to show how much weight I have lost. I found this idea on Pinterest the other day and just went to the Dollar Store and bought all the necessary supplies. For some people buying smaller clothes is the best incentive for them but I prefer my jars, they are easy and inexpensive to make!

        I look forward to the days ahead and all that I have to offer myself. I have been able to change my mindset on different things and now is the time that I will be putting it to the test. It is going to be difficult but I am being held accountable by a number of people so the only way from here is up and I cannot wait!

☼Ashley☼