Early March NSV's

 I decided to stop running altogether in early November. I found that with me running 5 days/week my left knee was giving me trouble. My knee felt heavy and stiff all the time no matter if I put heat or ice on it. When I tried to bend down and then stand back up I had a hard time so I would have to hold on to something. Using the kneelers at church became a problem also. So I decided that as much as I love running, I did not want to sacrifice my ability to use my knees on a daily basis. I quit cold turkey.

Today, I am about 20 pounds lighter than I was when I stopped running so I decided to give it a try yesterday (Saturday) to see if I would be able to accomplish a run and how I would feel afterwards. It was not complete running, I chose to walk 5 minutes/run 5 minutes to see if that made any difference. This morning I felt fine after yesterdays run so I decided to run for a little longer.

The first picture is Saturday's run, note the calories between treadmill and HRM. The second is of today's run, also not the calories between treadmill and HRM.

I had some NSV's besides being able to run on the treadmill and not have my knee hurting. 

1. Walking at a 4.2 pace. Nov. 3.6 pace
2. Running at a 4.8 pace. Nov. 3.8 pace
3. 1 mile- 13:41 minutes
4. 2 miles- 26:59 minutes
5. 5K- 41:33 minutes

Overall today in my 50 minute run, I ran 3.75 miles. I am totally stoked with this number. I plan on running only on the weekends to give my knee a break, especially since I do Zumba during the weekdays. 

So, while the scale might not be very nice to me these past few days, I will certainly take some NSV's to remind myself it is all worth it!!

☺Ashley☺

Good-bye February

Since we are one day away from March, I feel it appropriate to say good-bye to February. That is not to say I do not like the month, because it is one of my favorites. It is more of a good-bye to all the funky and weird feelings I had during the month, especially from my last blog post. The uncertainty and feelings of failing myself.

I actively made the decision that March is going to be better than February. I have already have a list of goals to put up on my team's spreadsheet. It is just a matter of waiting for it to be created so I can do so. There is no way I can let myself fail at this point. Being scared is no longer an excuse, it is only an emotion and when it tries to become an excuse I have to be proactive and nip it in the bud. I am in control of my destiny and my body, physically putting food into my mouth.

So some goals for March:

1. Eat 5 fruits/veggies a day
2. Exercise everyday
3. Lose 4.5 lbs
4. 2 weeks of eating beans at one meal

This past weekend I was able to sit down and make up my lunch/dinner menu for the entire month of March. I am totally ready to go and am happy that I know what to expect, all of the thinking is taken out of "what is for dinner?" I am fortunate (in some ways) to eat "my food" by myself because I go by serving sizes so something that has 8 servings will last me 8 days. I am able to stretch food for a long period of time. Fortunately I do not get bored easily or else we would have some serious problems when it came to food choices. All of the recipes for the month are new to me so experimenting will be fun and seeing what I like and do not like.

I have read a few blogs recently, that speak of desire and lack of hope in the possibility of losing weight to be healthier/happier. I have a few questions for you to contemplate and try to answer. 

• What is the real reason you want to lose weight? (For attention or to be healthy?)
• Have you given yourself a fair chance to lose weight? 
• What is stopping you from losing that weight?
• Are you cheating (food wise) without realizing it?
• Is your brain on board for you losing weight?
• Are you allowing enough time for you to make a difference in eating/exercising habits before throwing in the towel?
• Are temptations around you all the time? Why do you give in?

I challenge you to try to answer these questions and then look in the mirror at yourself and respond to those questions. The first thing in being successful is getting your brain to realize that you need to do it because of your health. Some people do not have the opportunity to get a 2nd, 3rd, 4th and even 5th chance to try to fix their weight. They die due to complications of any number of health related weight problems.

Finally, I pose this question to all of you. Are you worth it to be healthy and fit?

I know I am worth it and I am certainly going to prove it to myself during the month of March. 

☺Ashley☺

Mentality

I have been struggling over the past few days mentally with the changes that my body is going through. It is never easy to lose weight especially when you get to a point that you have not been at for over a decade. I know that change is never easy for body and mind. The struggles for me have been mostly mentally. 

Five years ago when I dropped the weight that I had, I got to a point where I was comfortable with my weight and stopped trying to lose weight altogether. Then I gained the weight back. The past few days I have struggled with that mentality that I am at a comfortable weight and I do not want to lose any more. Yet there is this nagging feeling in the back of my mind telling me that I would be taking the easy way out if I chose to stop and attempt to maintain. I read all of these signs on tumblr about how seeing the results you want is never easy and you need to be uncomfortable to achieve anything.

I am actively letting that nagging feeling grow and come to fruition. I need to step away from the mentality that I am okay and be comfortable with being uncomfortable. I do not want to be scared because of the unknowns in the road that lies ahead of me. At the same time I refuse to regret not trying to see who I blossom into physically but also mentally.

I guess that is what my point of this post is. We as losers focus on our weight loss and then when our brain has a second to catch up with the changes it says "What the hell are you doing? Stop doing that!" Yet, it is important to help our brains wrap around the fact that we are changing for the better, because we need to do so for any number of reasons. So many people lose the weight and then gain it back because their mind convinces them that it is okay to cheat once in a while. Then it occurs more and more until before you know it, an additional 20 lbs is added onto the scale. It is crucial that we continue to be aware of what our minds tells us is acceptable and realizing the reality of what we need to do and be aware of our choices.

Another thing I am struggling with is phantom fat. That underlying thought that you have not lost the weight and when you look in the mirror, you fail to see what you look like but instead what you once were. Those feelings that I still look as big as I once did occur often but I have hope that they will go away because every once in a while I catch a glimpse in the mirror of how awesome I look. It helps to take pictures along the journey to see the changes and know that I look fabulous.

I just have to be patient with two things to catch up with my weight loss: my mind and skin. 

☺Ashley☺