Annoyed

I am finding myself annoyed with society in general for the lack of compassion and need for bullies and people who like to walk all over people. What gives a person the right to treat others with indecency and lack of respect? What gives a person the right to bully another person into something that is not meant for that person? What gives a person the right to beat up on another person to make them feel inadequate or less than another person? The truth is, I have a general answer to most of these questions but it does not the questions any easier or help understand why society is disgraceful.

Our 'norms' of society have led people to believe that if you are not one certain way then you are not good enough. You are below everyone else and therefore should be treated that way. The extra 30 lbs of fat a person carries on their body means the difference between someone talking to you or someone making fun of you for your appearance. It is as if those 30 lbs are a stigma attached and a constant reminder that yes, a person is different and therefore should be treated as such. 

Many people are out for their own gains. They chose to walk over others without giving a second thought to the feelings of others and what they make bring to society/world in which they live in. As a child, I had a role model who taught me so much and I really grew as a child and now as a young women. Yet I found out that bullying led her to make her decision to retire. Is it fair? Absolutely not. The bullies always win. No power struggle will ever give the underdog the chance to flourish and to do what they are good at. So many talented people walk away from professions that play on their natural God given gifts. Why? Because of bullying and people looking out for only themselves.

I find the picture I posted on this blog to be so true. As children we grow up to find our own selves; individuality and personality. Yet, we get bullied and harassed for finding who we are as individuals and trying to live as we want and sometimes that means going against society and their 'norms'. This inhibits our ability to continue to grow and learn about who we are and in turn our self-esteem drops. No longer do we feel like we have figured out who we want to be. All of that gets dropped, we question and then hate ourselves for daring to be different.

I realize that society will continue to work as it always has but it is still frustrating that no matter how hard you try to rise about all the bullying/harassment/intimidation, the victim seems to always get hurt in the long term. It stinks.

☻Ashley☻

Personal Challenge

When I started my journey to being healthy almost 8 months ago, I knew I had to make a change. I was not sure what type of change I was looking for but I knew that I needed to make it to be a healthier person and change my self-esteem and view of who I am as an individual. 

I have gotten into a routine over the past few months. I am doing Zumba three times a week and counting the calories I am eating, whatever that may be. However, I am beginning to feel stuck, not that the weight is not coming off, it is but I am feeling like I need a new change within my healthy living lifestyle. 

There is no perfect a time than a major event within my church calendar year; Lent. Since I became Catholic three years ago, I have given up the same items within my diet; ice cream, soda, desserts. It is so easy to not think about what I am going to give up but am beginning to think I can do more with Lent. I remind myself that Lent is only 40 days so it is not a major commitment and whatever I do plan to remove from my diet, I can always add it back in if I am unhappy. Yet there are so many possibilities of foods that I could remove from my healthy lifestyle to make it that much more productive and meaningful. 

Having pondered what to do over the past few days I keep coming back to one part of my diet that I can eliminate; frozen processed foods. I am addicted to french fries, ice cream and chicken patties. They are all quick and easy things to pull out especially when I am running late or am on the go (usually Monday-Thursday every week). I am thinking that this could be a positive change for me, getting away from the frozen processed food and moving towards meals that I make. However, there are two exceptions I will make; frozen vegetables and meat that was put in the freezer so it wouldn't go bad. 

I think that it is an appropriate thing to give up for Lent. It will be a big challenge for me, one that will be tough at first but I know that I can do it. I have to do it, for me, my health and to show myself that when given a challenge I can face it head on and win.

Lent 2013:
Eliminating:

• frozen food
• Ice cream
• soda

Incorporating:

• Weight lifting
• Bible reading
• Read at least 2 books on health/food

My ultimate goal: Get my BMI down to 33 and my weight to 205 lbs by Easter Sunday, March 31st.

☺ Ashley ☺

The Scale Said What?!

I began weight watchers 10 years ago at the age of 13 weighing an astounding 213 lbs or there about. In the years since, and two tries at getting my weight back in check, I have never once hit that number or close enough to it. For the first time in 10 years I am proud to announce that I have once again hit that weight number!! It has been a long hard journey but I have gotten there and am motivated more so than ever to keep kicking this extra weight to the curb.

I am ready for a new chapter in my life. I am ready for the new healthy changes. For the first time in a long time, I am not scared of going into Onederland. I am excited to see that number on the scale. I cannot be afraid of what lies on the other side because nothing is certain. I had once worried about how men would treat me once I became "thin", but I have come to realize no matter what weight I am at, a guy will be inappropriate and it is not my fault, it is theirs. It is all they know and what they have been taught, or lack of class as I like to say. I cannot let fear hold me back from my future, from what I may look like. Every day I look in the mirror and I can see how beautiful I am becoming just in my face. Tonight I decided to wear my hair in natural curls and put it in a pony tail, wore pearl earrings, eye shadow and eye liner. I felt so pretty and saw it for the first time in a long time.

I think that losing weight is so difficult for so many because we are humans are afraid of change. It does not matter whether it is good or not, it is scare due to the "unknown". So to compensate, we push things off or try for only so long, fail and decide that it is too hard or it must be you that did something wrong. Then the mentality repeats and we feel like failures and do not try to figure out why we failed in the first place.

Have you taken a step back to reassess what you want in life? Have you ever failed at something and never tried again? Reflect and try to find the underlying issue, the reason you failed in the first place. There is always a reason whether subconscious or not, it is still a reason. Resolve that issue, by yourself or with a confidant. As the saying goes, if you fail try try again.

So what is stopping you from trying again and succeeding?

☺ Ashley ☺